1. HOW TO GROW OLD DISGRACEFULLY
Lady Crabtree takes a whimsical look at growing older and shows that the advancing years are to be enjoyed, rather than endured.
With a mixture of amusing personal anecdotes, comic monologues and sage advice, Lady Crabtree shares her wry observations about various aspects of ageing, such as dealing with fashion for the over-50s; health and beauty; failing memory, lost glasses… and how to fight back against the modern age. In this celebration of maturity, Lady Crabtree will reveal that there are many advantages to growing older!
How To Grow Old Disgracefully lasts approximately 1 hour, but can be tailored in length to suit your timings.
My face in the mirror isn't wrinkled or drawn,
My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely and so does my lawn.
I think I might never put my glasses back on.
2. THE DOWAGER ENTERTAINS
If your club, group or society is looking for a light-hearted talk, Lady Crabtree can entertain with an hour-long chat about her life, work, and wry views on life - with the occasional comic monologue thrown in for good measure!
Discover more about her theatrical upbringing; her experiences at Finishing School; marriage into the aristocracy; the years as Relief Woman of the Bedchamber and the reasons behind her sudden departure from the Royal Household....
How did the Queen come to be washing up at Crabtree Hall? Why doesn't Lady C like self-service tills, call centres in India, or teenage sales assistants? What was the cause of her great embarrassment at a vicarage tea party? And why is she so at odds with her twin sister Millicent?
The Dowager Entertains can be tailored in length to suit your timings and personalised to include some references to members of your organisation - which always raises a few extra laughs!
"An hour of almost non-stop laughter..."
The Friends of the Devonshire Park Theatre
3. GREAT SOCIETY HOSTESSES
If your club, group or society is looking for a light-hearted but informative talk, Lady Crabtree can entertain with an hour-long talk about some of the extraordinary ladies who ruled over the cream of society from the late Victorian era up until the Second World War, when their glittering world came to an end. Lady Crabtree reveals some amazing but true facts about their extravagant lifestyles, their clothes, their jewellery, their entertaining ... and their rivalry between each other. Hear stories about:
ETTIE, LADY DESBOROUGH
EDITH, LADY LONDONDERRY
EMERALD, LADY CUNARD
ELSIE, LADY MENDL
SYBIL, LADY COLEFAX
MARGARET, DUCHESS OF ARGYLL
In her own inimitable style, Lady Crabtree will tell tales of gossip and scandal, intrigue and snobbery, riches and rivalry, luxury and extravagance, in a world gone by... and why we shall never see their like again.
Lady Londonderry Lady Mendl Lady Colefax Margaret Duchess of Argyll Lady Cunard
4. GLAD TO BE GREY
For all that have heard "How To Grow Old Disgracefully" and want to hear more... this is Lady Crabtree's long awaited sequel....continuing her celebration of maturity and how to survive the advancing years.
From her suggested cure for insomnia to the answerphone message for all grandparents...from how to cope with intimidating antique shop assistants to Lady C's hatred of bar-codes.... you'll be glad to be grey!
5. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CHRISTMAS?
New for November/December 2018
If you remember when we had tangerines at Christmas and made paper chains; when cards could be posted on Christmas Eve and were delivered on Christmas Day; when people knew the story of the nativity and didn't think "Frosty the Snowman" was a carol...and when the only thing you did early was make the Christmas cake.... you might identify with Lady Crabtree's latest talk of a time when Christmas was special.
Lady Crabtree will air her views on the modern festive season; her loathing of "round robin" letters; cards that say "Happy Holiday" and people who put up decorations in November. She will reveal some of the worst gifts that she has received, and will share her tips for sending cards to people that you don't like and how to dispose of unwanted items during December. With her wry humour and often poignant observations, plus the occasional monologue, Lady Crabtree will ask: Whatever happened to Christmas?
THE ONLY REQUIREMENT IS A MICROPHONE FOR LADY CRABTREE ,
PREFERABLY HAND HELD, IF IT IS A LARGE HALL OR VENUE